#things said out of context

[the-kettle-whistles]

(out of context) things my younger sister has said

y'all I have been compiling this since last year :")

“give me the crog"

“I never said an 8 ton baby could do my job”

“o̷̢̦͐̑͝ͅw̸̢̪̟̖̏a̷̲̩̮̒͋͆ ̷̼̐͝o̷̧͕̪̠͊́̚w̴̩̙͑̅̈́ḁ̷̢̾̽̋̔ͅ”

*panicking* “Why My Bed Crispy”

“She like that cheese stank”

"Why is everyone named ‘Guy’ ugly”

“I hope you explode. It infuriates me that there’s still air in your lungs”

“It’s holding on by the butt stick”

“I’m trying to reminisce on phone guy memories”

“My foot is baby sized compared to your giant man feet”

”imagine being named Mark. Like it’s so embarrassing you’re name is Markus”

“What Do You Mean I’m A Threat To Human Civilization”

“You have Walter White’s hairline”

“You just have me a glaucoma test with your mouth”

"i almost broke my toe. slay"

"i'm trying to enjoy the scenery but you just keep giving me free glaucoma tests"

"the dog is knocking. let them in"

*scooby doo voice* "come here"

“I just had a terrible vision of a ferret-rat-shark and it looked at me and smiled with human teeth”

*screams* *burps loudly*

"I want a frickin' boiga"

"You dummy, we all know it's swipe left for love!"

"my hands smell like a boiga"

"I've killed millions"

"I love it when machines do my dirty work"

"I'm stuck in a heck hole"

"It feels like I'm listening to smooth brain Christmas"

"Dude I ate like 9 enchiladas over the past 2 days"

"My spicy zinger for tonight is asbestos"

"Yo yo yo, chancy bust a move"

"This tastes like grass but with out the "g r""

"Men will be like "I'm such a gentleman" and then ruin abunch of people's lives"

"One of us is dumber and it's not me"

"You got a boy? How many you pullin'???"

"You look like baby Gabriel in those Jesus things"

"'Never have babies' that's what i always say"

"you can't have an overpopulation of 8 legged friends on your skin, you know that, right?"

"he did. he wanted me for real"

"men with beefy forearms. they're like crossfit gods"

"men are beautiful. and women, too. women are also fine" *a moment of silence* "sorry that sounded kind of sussy"

"You can find gay people in the wildest places. Just like pokemon"

"You look like a drown teddy bear"

"Thanks. I feel less evil"

"That's really ugly but there's such a beauty in things that are hideous"

"Urine throne of mass destruction and sewage carnage"

"I want the tickle me elmo so bad it makes me sick"

"This is all hypothetical. You guys are insane"

"Sometimes the world doesn't give you what you want and you have to cope with it by smelling my cheesey breath"

haha decided to post this at 11 at night and kind of sick on a whim

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

[geekylled]

Ken Sato, outfielder for the Yomiuri Giants, comes clean about giant spending habits!

In a recent interview, All-Star player Kenji Sato confessed to spending absurd amounts of money on grossly large sports memorabilia— mostly his own.

“I have a good, totally plausible reason for it,” Sato had plead, unconvincingly.

Sato bat an average of .420 last season, which puts him among the best. “It’s— ugh. Hm. Erm. It’s.” Unfortunately, he struck out severely in attempting to explain his spending habits.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” Sato swore, but then refused to give exact numbers in terms of pricing for those who may want to “try it”.

For the readers not in the know, a 15-foot recreation of Sato’s jersey recently went viral when commission details were leaked to the public. Our interviewer asked for a comment concerning the jersey, to which Sato is quoted to have said: “Well. I guess you can say I have a pretty big fan.”

[deityofhearts]

happy 4th birthday to the most batshit ask I’ve ever received on this webbed site!!

[leal-hound]

spoilers for my fanfic but i dont know if ill have the energy to finish it, so here's some uh oh doodles

[homielander]

shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true

[fluentisonus]

[royalarchivist]

Cellbit: Yeah, [Bobby is] our son.

Roier: What?

Cellbit: He's our son, no? Or not? Am I not?

Roier: I mean… he's already dead. [...] By the time we got married, he was no longer around. So in theory, in theory-

Cellbit: But in my heart, he is my son.

Roier: Oh, that's fine, in your heart, yes. In your heart, yes. But actually-

Cellbit: He could have been my son, he could have been.

Roier: But actually, he is my son and Jaiden’s.

Cellbit: Yes yes, definitely, of course.

Roier: [Smacks him] Exactly. Well, you're the step-father, you know?

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

Cellbit: Hey Tina, have you met Bobby? I don't think you did, right?

Tina: I met him a little bit earlier, he's so cute!

Roier: Aww

Tina: I told him I like StarBobby.

Cellbit: Yeah, it's our son.

Roier: What? But-

Cellbit: He's our son, no? Or not? Am I not?

Roier: I mean... he's already dead.

Cellbit: That's true, that's true.

Roier: By the time we got married, he was no longer around.

Cellbit: That's true, true.

Roier: So in theory, in theory-

Cellbit: But in my heart, he is my son.

Roier: Oh, that's fine, in your heart, yes. In your heart, yes. But actually-

Bagi: Am I the auntie?

Cellbit: He could have been my son, he could have been.

Roier: But actually, he is my son and Jaiden’s.

Cellbit: Yes yes, definitely, of course.

Roier: [Smacks him] Exactly. Well, you're the step-father, you know?

Bagi: So I don't think I'm your auntie, sorry. Unless you want to!

Cellbit: Yes, fake dad, fake dad. Fake father.

Roier: But it's ok. It's ok.

Cellbit: It's ok, it's ok.

Roier: It's this dumbass' fault he died anyways.

[outofcontextdiscord]

[rockybloo]

I promised the masses a pretty bat and I delivered

[superbellsubways]

🍂

[ryssbelle]

Poppy for N2 au, it took me so long to make her design cuz I didn't really know what I wanted to do only because I feel like her design is pretty perfect.

But then I just thought about fun outfits to give her or outfits that I would find comfortable if I was wearing them and it all came together.

Poppy here is pretty much the same as here movie counterpart, as nothing really changes on her end of things other than having more insight on Branch through his brothers, and through Lief. Shes also a bit more understanding a bit earlier on because of it but it doesnt do much to change her own character arc I would say.

Bonus

Part of Poppys design was based off a design I had made for previous rulers of Troll Village/Tree

Namely Queen Protea who I designed as Poppys grandmother

Named after the Protea flower which part of her design is based off :D

In the context of this Au Protea was the one who conceptualized the tunnels while her son, King Peppy, was the one to follow through after her death

[wonder-worker]

Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.

[vaultureculture]

October kickstarter update info in the tags <3

[olasketches]

the fact that megumi was supposed to be the MC makes me giddy as hell. ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER GUYS

[insertsomthinawesome]

Vibrates intensely in emotional reunion.

Look I know this is now how it went 😔 but I really wanted to use this quote for these two (its from How to Train your Dragon 2), imagine Dainsleif feeling so much joy and relief upon finding the Lost Prince alive and well, him showing more vulnerability than Paimon and Lumine have ever seen. ITS NOT CANON, BUT IT COMPELS ME!!! xD

-NO ROMANCE INCLUDED-